I am very affected by some sudden unforeseen incident. I know its beyond my control but still it was a big blow to take. I've been too optimistic about it. I know its some external factors that resulted in this but I still cannot accept the fact that this is happening.

WHY ME?
Why did my best song turn out to be such a disaster?
Why did I have to be so affected by the band who played my song much slower than the original song?
Why didn't I try harder to to make it known to the drummer while singing?
Why did I have to get the lowest marks?
Why was I the one who had to go?
Why am I taking this elimination so hard?
Why can't I get another chance to prove myself better this coming week?

There so many different kind of emotions running thru my mind now. My thoughts are in a big mess...

I'm angry and really sad because...
~I blame the band
~I know I should have done something when I know the tempo wasn't right
~I did try to make eye contact with the band but he just didn't see me
~It was supposed to be my 'most confident song' but I screwed it up.
~I did not expect the elimination as we were told that there will be no elimination until much later
~I thought would be given another chance to prove myself but no, there is no more chance.
~My friends are expecting to watch my performance but I let them down.
~I know i'm much better than some of the other competitors

I'm so lost in this situation. I really have no idea why I am so affected. I am a optimistic person and therefore this should not get to me. I should be able to handle this like any other elimination. But no, its not going that way.

I've been to higher grounds and therefore this is a much harder fall to take. I'm refusing to pick myself up yet.

I really was looking forward to enjoying this event but now I'm suddenly feeling so aimless.

Please pardon me as I'll be hiding in my little bubble for awhile.